How many wedding proposals have you seen in your life? I am not talking about cliche proposals like the ”Do You Want To Marry Me?” on the shopping mall’s screen, or the wedding proposal amidst the girlfriend’s birthday party. Well, here’s an awesome wedding proposal that left a deep impression on me!
One of Ellen DeGeneres’s viewers wanted her help in proposing to his girlfriend on Twitter. She tweeted a romantic message, while they filmed the whole process and uploaded it. Wow, isn’t this the sweetest surprise wedding proposal?
When she answered “Hell Yeah!” to her boyfriend’s proposal, it is clearly a strong affirmation of her trust and feelings to him in bringing their relationship to a new stage. I feel that it is the result of the qualitative approach (defines the interpersonal communication with a focus on the quality or character of the communication). It is how we decide on which information to choose to determine our outlook we adopt towards that particular person. Some of us tend to find someone whom we can relate to the most in terms of similarities (interests, hobbies, personality traits etc). Perhaps she believes that she has found The One through him and garned up the decision to marry him. This is subjective to each individual. Like how beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!
During our relational formation and development, we slowly access the other party based on these 7 factors (Physical Appearance, Similarity, Complementarities, Exchange, Proximity, Reciprocity & Liking, Competency). However to me, I feel that complementarities, exchange, proximity and competency are the least influencing factors as compared to the other three.
Well if I were to pick a few to access someone of the opposite sex, I’d think that physical appearance scores a higher weightage in general. It has its biggest impact in the early stages of a relationship. We often consider this a huge factor before we embark on the initial stage of knowing the other party more closely. This factor is hugely influenced by our own culture perspective, our close friends and family. For instance, Girl A shows her bunch of friends the Facebook profile of the particular guy she take a liking to, I am sure her friends will give their opinions (positive/negative). Subsequently, her initial value of that guy will diminish/strengthen based on that.
Other than the physical appearance, I think someone with the similar attitude and beliefs as I do would relate better than one with a complete contrast of my preferences and values. But again, it is subjective individually. Some feel more attracted to those who are different from them be it financial wise or the social needs.
Now, of course, reciprocity & liking plays a substantially crucial role in the further development of an interpersonal relationship. For someone to like us in return does serves as a form of validation (socially and psychologically). Let’s just put it this way – Humans are narcissistic in one way or another. If one day, someone of the opposite sex were to confess to you, even if you do not have a tinge of feelings for him/her, I am sure you would be secretly happy about it. Hey it is a form of validation in a way!
Communication is definitely the root of all types of relationships. Start yours the right and effective way! When was the last time you let physical appearance took over your judgement in inter-relations? How does it affect the development of the interpersonal relationship?
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. – Ralph Nichols